The Commandments Commandments

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"The gig is not over until the fat lady....loads the van ";

"Honour thine agent....and their fees!";

"If thou playeth a bum note, play it again and verily it will be considered jazz!";

"The audience is always right... but we are not too loud!";

"Payeth all of the band the same";

"No dots on stage";

"LISTEN to everyone!!!";

"Smile at thine perceived enemy";

"Covet not thine band members spouse";

"When all around you are losing theirs, keep a tight grip on yours";

"A dog is not just for christmas, they taste good any time of the year";

"Life is too short to spend too much time wondering what to do next";

"Chlamydia is not a nice girls name";

"Music is the spice of life... use it liberally";

"Going round in circles... does not make you a wheel";

"People who live in glasshouses... should breathe on the windows before taking a bath";

"Thou shalt stick to the running order or else we wont"

"Thou shalt not attempt to seek fame and fortune if thou hast no talent, Simon Cowell "

"Thou shalt not attend practise or performance in bad humour or a hat"

"Thou shalt be quiet between songs"

"Thou shalt enjoy thy music and not look like thou art in pain"

"Thou shalt not change the tempo of any song during a performance unless (see commandments of tempo)"

"Thou shalt admit thy mistakes and not blame others"

"Thou shalt not disregard something agreed in practice in favour of thy own ideas"

"Thy shalt not covet thy fellow musicians talent, thou should practise"

"Thou shalt not be tempted by 'performance enhancing' substances unless it enhances OUR performance"

"People get up and drive your funky soul";

"If it makes you move your rump its the funk";

"Free your mind and your ass will follow";

"He who is without funk cast the first stone";

"Jazz is the Teacher, funk is the Preacher";

"Thou shalt not admit adultery";

"Thou shalt not spoil the fun of the audience";

"Patience is a virtue, I want it now!!!";

"Drugs are the panacea of the working mind";

"It takes two to conflict or boogie, boogying is better!";

 

 

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